Photo Credit: Love Is Respect
In January, RALIANCE recognized National Stalking Awareness Month by discussing how workplaces should know about how stalking impacts remote employees and what can be done to help and protect them. This month is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Many violence-related issues are interrelated, and these two are no exception. In this blog, we’ll be examining how workplaces are impacted by these issues and should take part in the fight against workplace stalking among their teenage employees.
As teens enter the dating world, they are in the beginning stages of learning about appropriate behaviors and power dynamics within a relationship. Without the life experience to fall back on, many teens may not recognize, or even perpetuate themselves, harmful dating behaviors. When it comes to stalking, young people may misconstrue it as desire or affection rather than a form of control.
On a cultural level, we often minimize the impact of stalking or even romanticize those behaviors. In our everyday language, we use “stalking” or “stalker” jokingly when talking about contacting, meeting, or looking up someone else. This has the effect on diminishing the severity of stalking. Our media also paints stalking behaviors in a romantic light, thereby making it seem more acceptable to welcome in our personal lives. This romanticization is so long-standing that, even in media that is critical of those actions (both explicitly and by the creators themselves), there are people who still want those fictional perpetrators. Penn Badgley of Netflix’s You has spoken out about how his character, a stalking serial killer, is not the romantic ideal and that we must keep perspective on the behaviors that we need to maintain a healthy relationship.
              *The Stalking Prevention and Awareness Resource Center (SPARC) has a variety of Discussion Guides to accompany the show.
              *SPARC also has a graphic which explains how to modify everyday language to not normalize or minimize stalking
On an individual level, teens may already be at a disadvantage in recognizing harmful dating behaviors if they experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Some studies show that teens and young adults with ACEs are more likely to experience stalking, domestic violence, and sexual violence. Traumatic experiences during childhood can normalize forms of abuse like stalking or other obsessive, controlling behaviors that a romantic partner may inflict later. That is why it is so important to teach the values of consent and appropriate romantic behaviors throughout childhood and adolescence.
When a workplace employs minors, it takes on some responsibility for their welfare. If a teen exhibits any of the signs that they may be experiencing dating violence, the employer must work with that teen to ensure their safety. The American Psychological Association reports that half of teens in the United States face stalking or harassment, and we know that stalkers use workplace resources 78% of the time. It is for this reason that stalking and teen dating violence are workplace issues. Below are some of our recommendations for how employers can combat stalking and teen dating violence.
Collaborate with Love Is Respect on a Training or Workshop About Stalking
Love is Respect is an organization that works with teens to recognize toxic dating behaviors. Their curricula serve to educate teens about what behaviors to look out for and to prevent teens from acting those behaviors out in the first place. On their website, they have the following list of stalking behaviors to watch out for:
-Showing up at your home or workplace unannounced or uninvited.
-Sending you unwanted texts, messages, letters, emails, or voicemails.
-Leaving you unwanted items, gifts, or flowers.
-Calling you and hanging up repeatedly or making unwanted phone calls to you, your employer, a professor, or a loved one.
-Using social media or technology to track your activities.
-Spreading rumors about you online or in person.
-Manipulating other people to investigate your life, including using someone else’s social media account to look at your profile or befriending your friends in order to get information about you.
-Waiting around at places you spend time.
-Damaging your home, car, or other property.
-Hiring a private investigator to follow or find you as a way of knowing your location or movements. (Love is Respect)
For employers who have a substantial amount of teams on their staff, consider reaching out to Love is Respect this Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month to see how you can educate your employees about this important issue.
Communicate to Employees about Potential Accommodations
Teens are also new to the working environment, so they may not know about or be comfortable asking for accommodations…even if they’re feeling unsafe at work due to a stalker. Convey that reasonable accommodations can and must be made to ensure every employee’s safety and welfare. Spring Health lists the following accommodation examples that HR leaders and supervisors may provide:
-Changing their office, location, phone number, schedule, parking space, and screening phone calls.
-Offering an escort for the employee as they enter and leave the space.
-Accommodating time off for court dates, relocation, and related meetings, such as with their advocate.
-Enforcing temporary protective orders when applicable and calling law enforcement if the abuser/stalker violates the order by showing up to the workplace.
-Allowing the employee to talk to their DV advocate while at work. Often, they aren’t safe doing so at home. (Spring Health)
Have Safety Resources and Materials On-Hand for Teens Who Need Help
If a teen communicates that they’re unsafe due to a stalking partner, have the contact information for local law enforcement. We also recommend these resources below:
–National Domestic Violence Hotline’s “Create Your Personal Safety Plan” page
–National Dating Abuse Hotline(co-created by Break the Cycle): 1.866.331.9474 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522
–National Center for Victims of Crime
-Local Rape Crisis Center Contacts (use the RALIANCE Directory of Organizations for research)
Connect with RALIANCE for Intra-Workplace Stalking Policy
Throughout this blog, we’ve explored how an outside abusive relationship can impact a teen in the workplace. What if the stalking was perpetuated by a colleague? What if that colleague is someone the teen had a former relationship with? How would you handle those complaints? RALIANCE would be happy to work with you on a policy review and discuss how you might handle those situations going forward.
Stalking is just one facet of the larger conversation surrounding dating violence, domestic violence, and sexual violence. This Teen Dating Awareness Month, we hope to see workplaces everywhere show internally and externally that they stand for teen safety and respect.
RALIANCE is a trusted adviser for organizations committed to building cultures that are safe, equitable, and respectful. RALIANCE offers unparalleled expertise in serving survivors of sexual harassment, misconduct, and abuse which drives our mission to help organizations across sectors create inclusive environments for all. For more information, please visit www.RALIANCE.org.
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