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For working people in the United States, the business, speed, and demands of their jobs can be draining. For working people experiencing grief, their work/life balance is thrown off course. They may have to take unexpected time off, cover funeral-related expenses, or have to return to work while dealing with hard to manage emotions. Roughly 2.5 million people die in the United States per year, leaving behind 1-5 mourners (close attachments to the deceased). This leaves US-based mourners somewhere in the 2.5 million-12.5 million range per year.
Every person’s grief, and every person’s relationship to their workplace, is unique. With something as personal, and as individual, as grief, it can be difficult for employers to broach the conversation. This National Grief Awareness Day, we are exploring some ways workplaces can support employees who are grieving:
Provide Bereavement Time
The most important thing that an employer can do when one of their employees loses a loved one is to provide adequate bereavement time. In 2021, President Biden a 3-day bereavement policy in the Build Back Better spending package, but it was dropped due to objections. With this lack of federal bereavement policy, and with only a handful of states enacting or introducing bereavement leave laws, it’s up to employers to set the standard. Not only should employers offer bereavement leave, but they should also ensure that it does not exclude employees mourning someone outside the stereotypical “immediate family” unit, as many people mourn loved ones that don’t fall under those parameters.
Allow for a Flexible Work Schedule
In the days after a death, the grieving person may be dealing with an unexpected amount of responsibilities that take time out of their day. This can include notifying relatives/affected loved ones, making funeral arrangements, handling legal and financial affairs, and requesting a death certificate. For employees who lose spouses, particularly those who lose spouses with dependents under their roofs, the time, stress, and money it takes to reorient their lives to a new normal can be incredibly challenging. The Cost of Dying Report states that, “The average person took 15 months to complete all of the administrative tasks to wrap up their loved one’s affairs, or 18 months if they were executor of the estate.” Lead with compassion and maintain an open line of communication with the grieving employee about what adjustments they need made to their work schedule to ease their burden.
Utilize Your Employee Assistant Program
In the immediate aftermath of a loss, inform a grieving employee about what is covered under any Employee Assistant Program you may have. These EAP’s can be wonderful resources for employees who need immediate, short-term counseling services or a crisis hotline.
Provide Mental Health Services/Grief Counselors
Everyone processes grief differently, and grief is not a linear journey. For some, the loss hits immediately. For others, grief can feel at its most devastating months after a loss. This is why employers should maintain good mental health services under their healthcare policy, and contacts for local grief counselors, year-round. Wherever someone is on their grieving journey, and employer should regard these emotions with validity, seriousness, and compassion and in turn offer to help their colleague find help if they’re struggling.
Adapt Language When Speaking with the Grieving Person
Sometimes, while we might be well-intentioned, the things we say may come across badly to a grieving person when talking about their loss. Review this article on “Words That Hurt: What Not To Say to a Grieving Person” as a guide to help navigate those conversations. Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that while loss is a universal human experience, religious practices and cultural perspectives around death vary. In maintaining a commitment to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, it is crucial that employees of all backgrounds are approached with the same level of sensitivity and care during this difficult time. Review Forbes’ article “How To Respect The Grieving Process In A Diverse Workplace” for guidance as to how to get started when an employee of a different background experiences loss.
Ask the Mourner What They Need
When someone is mourning a loved one, they often feel like their life is out of control. After an unwanted event like loss, what can be most empowering is when they get to make some decisions for themselves. Ask the grieving person what they need rather than assuming. When a grieving employee can ask for or state what they need, and when they feel heard by an employer in those conversations, that employee can feel a little of their power back during an incredibly difficult time.
Grief is a hard subject to tackle, and an even harder one to experience. While we cannot take the worst of the grieving experience away from someone, any little bit we can offer helps and truly means something. This National Grief Awareness Day, we hope to see employers continue to examine their role in helping their grieving employees move forward.
RALIANCE is a trusted adviser for organizations committed to building cultures that are safe, equitable, and respectful. RALIANCE offers unparalleled expertise in serving survivors of sexual harassment, misconduct, and abuse which drives our mission to help organizations across sectors create inclusive environments for all. For more information, please visit www.RALIANCE.org.
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